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I carried them in my womb, and they need someone to raise them right.Not a woman who will go “Oh honey, mommy is so sorry your sick, but I’m still going to take you to your grandmother’s because “so-and-so” will be upset with me for ‘standing him/her up’.” If you’re so arrogant as to think that you should be more important than any child, then you really have no business dating a mother.And I have never heard anyone give themselves such pious, sanctimonious airs about motherhood who is anywhere near the precious, loving little saint of a mommy they’re so desperately trying to convince people they are.Genuinely good, selfless mothers don’t talk the way you do. There are predators who do specifically target unwed mothers for especial attention because they’re looking to find someone who is emotionally vulnerable so that she’s so pre-occupied that they have easy access to kids to do what they really want to do to kids. Single moms do not need extra drama in their lives and if the man is bringing the drama and forcing her to decide “it’s either me or the kids” then she is right to deep six that guy!Also avoid people that disclose too much, whether it’s a recent staph infection, bankruptcy or bad breakup.
What I’m saying is when there is a committed healthy (non abusive) relationship, your mate is important too.
He may be legitimately finished with his marriage emotionally, but the paperwork isn't final. They may be on a trial separation, seeking variety, or way too fresh from a bad relationship to date seriously.” And if the person is still talking about their ex, that’s a red flag. Another one should be added: When a woman says her children come first, over everything else. However, to me, it means I am going to get stood up a lot; that when I am with someone they aren’t going to give me their undivided attention when we aren’t with her kids; and that a woman isn’t really interested in a relationship and is hiding behind her kids.
What he/she’s looking for: Requiring too much or too little are both red flags. If the person really doesn’t care, they’re probably looking for a “date,” not a relationship, or he or she may be looking to scam you. When I’ve dated women with children, you can’t believe some of the things parents have called me. I used to date a loser who “worshiped” his supposed ex. Thank God I dumped the POS and now I’m dating a decent guy!
You’re definitely projecting…which kinda proves MIKW’s point… Matter of fact, the only time it wouldn’t be a red flag is if it was said by some misguided man who thought women would be super duper impressed because it showed ‘just how much’ he loves his kids…This, again, is something we hope would be the case, lol.
Of course it goes without saying that kids come first. Actually, a man trying to impress women with something that should come naturally is a whole ‘nother kinda red flag… If you expect someone to give you all the benefits of a relationship but expect them to tolerate being down on your list of priorities, you have no business dating, full stop.